


Circles

by cipherine



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adult Dipper Pines, I will probably not specify their age; but the twins are 18+, M/M, Older Dipper Pines, Smut, The fluffiest fluff, WARNING: I WILL BE ADDING TAGS AS THEY HAPPEN! Be prepared for everything., as in: LOTS of smut, okay guys I'm sorry I tricked you this is actually a dark story hahah, there's also fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-01-18 19:15:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12394431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cipherine/pseuds/cipherine
Summary: Three years ago, they had moved to Gravity Falls.Three years ago, he'd met Bill.What else happened three years ago?Something deep inside told him that when the shadow would get him…He would die.





	1. It's all I want to see

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO BILLDIP FANDOM I KNOW YOU'RE DEAD BUT I'M NOT  
> IT'S TIME TO WAKE THE FUCK UP 
> 
> Welcome to my new project! At this point, I don't know if I will finish my other fanfic "Hollow", but I will try. However, I wanted to start something completely new and here it is. I will add tags as the fic goes on because I don't want to spoil anything. 
> 
> Dipper and Mabel are 18+ in this but I will not specify their age as of now.  
> Overall, I won't explain too much; just read it and tell me what you think.

* * *

  
  
Dipper was running.  
  
He was running away from a monster. It was a shadow, a huge shadow that had started to chase him, and no matter where he was hiding, it would always find him, and then he would run again. He would always get away somehow. But it never stopped chasing him. There was no end. He hid behind trees, in a cave, in the shack - everywhere, he tried to curl up in his hideouts and not make a sound, not even breathe, but then he could already hear it again, the familiar hissing sound. Kind of like a snake, but also not - more like someone scraping a knife over a wooden floor mixed with the sounds of nightmares. 

He was hiding again. This time he was in a laboratory. What kind of place was this? How did he even get here? He didn’t care. He needed to get away, _get away, get away…!_

He was trembling, his breathing uncontrolled, sweating and close to crying. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t it just leave him alone? What did the shadow want from him anyways?  
  
He didn’t know. But he was scared.  
  
Something deep inside told him that when the shadow would get him…  
He would die.  


* * *

  
  
Dipper woke up from the sunshine suddenly brightening his room.  
  
„Morning!“ his sister yelled, laughing.  
  
„Mabel! Oh my god, close the curtains!“ He yelled back, hissing like a vampire afraid of sunlight and hiding under his blanket. He made a whiny noise.  
  
„Seriously you two, get up already, it’s time for lunch!“ 

„Ugh… go away…“ Bill grumbled, hiding his head under the pillow.  
  
„Mmmhm…. what he said,“ Dipper answered from under the blanket. Mabel shook her head in disbelief and left the room.  
  
„Grunkle Stan!“ she yelled downstairs, „They aren’t getting up! Should I try with cold water?“  
  
Dipper’s eyes widened and suddenly he was wide awake.  
„No! It’s okay, I’m awake, I’m awake!“ He quickly said, and pouted when Mabel’s grinning face appeared in the door again. He stuck out his tongue.  
  
„Come on down already. And not in your boxers! We have visitors!“  
  
„What? Who?“ Dipper asked, but Mabel was already gone.  
  
Dipper smashed his face back in the pillow and sighed. God, he was so tired. And exhausted. Well, there was a reason for that. He grinned a little and kicked his boyfriend, who growled in return. Bill was extremely grumpy when he was tired.  
  
„Good morning, sunshine,“ Dipper cackled, and took the pillow away from Bill.  
  
„Aargh!! It’s too bright, give it back!“ Bill complained and tried to reach for the pillow with closed eyes. What he got instead was a quick kiss to shut him up.  
  
Bill sighed and before Dipper could break away, he pulled him closer to kiss him again, this time more passionately.  
„If you wanna wish me a good morning, do it like you mean it,“ Bill whispered against his lips and grinned.  
  
Dipper smiled.  
„You mean like last night’s _good night_?“  
  
„I wouldn’t mind.“  
  
„Pervert. Come on, they are waiting for us. I’ll go shower first,“ Dipper said and stretched a little.  
  
„Why don’t we shower together?“  
Bill winked at him, and Dipper blushed.  
  
„W-well… but no messing around! We don’t have time for that!“  
  
„Heh. Sure,“ Bill said, finally getting up as well.  
  
Dipper was embarrassed about it, even though everyone in this house knew they had been going at it all night. But he still wanted to make sure that no one saw them disappearing into the bathroom together. He locked the door behind him. Bill already took off his boxers, and Dipper couldn’t help but blush.  
Three fucking years and he was still not over seeing him naked.  
  
Bill could only grin when he noticed it. Dipper looked away quickly and started to undress as well.  
  
„After all this time, you still look away? You’re so cute. C’mere babe.“  
  
Dipper mumbled something Bill didn’t understand, but he came closer while Bill turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature, waiting for the water to get warm. He hugged Bill from behind.  
  
„Hmm?“  
  
Dipper sighed.  
„I had that stupid nightmare again.“  
  
„The one with the shadow?“  
  
„Yeah. It just… keeps coming back,“ Dipper murmured, absentmindedly touching Bill’s hips.  
  
„Sorry to hear that…“ Bill said, then stepped into the shower, taking Dipper’s hand and gently pulling him in as well. Then he smiled. „I’ll make you forget about it.“  
  
Dipper huffed out a laugh and the next moment they were hugging and kissing each other, and it felt as wonderful as ever. Something he’d never have enough of.  
_I’ll never have enough of him.  
I love you so much, Bill.  
_ He put all of his love in this kiss and completely forgot about the fact that they were naked in the shower. Well, Bill didn’t.  
  
„So, about that _good morning_ —“  
  
„Bill! I said we’re not going to fool around…!“  
Dipper was blushing though. It’s not like he didn’t _want_ to fool around, kinda.  
  
„Oh, come on, Pine Tree. Don’t act so innocent,“ Bill said and nonchalantly groped the other’s ass. Then he pushed Dipper against the stone cold wall, earning a whining noise from his boyfriend.  
   
„Don’t worry, it’ll get hot again right away,“ the blonde cackled and went on to kiss Dipper again. Dipper sighed into the kiss. He wanted to melt right into Bill’s arms. It was kind of unfair of Bill to take the spot under the hot water for himself, however. 

But Bill went on to attack his neck with kisses and bites, and Dipper couldn’t help but close his eyes and moan quietly. He wondered how Bill could still get him all worked up by just doing that when they have done so much worse so many times. It made him blush, thinking about all the sexual pleasure and kinks they had explored in the time they had been together. Bill sucked a hickey next to many others on Dipper’s neck.  
  
„Y’know what, you were a _really_ good boy last night. You deserve a reward,“ Bill whispered against Dipper’s ear, and Dipper tensed - his ears were very sensitive spots. Of course Bill knew that.  
  
„W-what kind of…?“ Dipper asked, breathing heavily. God, He just loved every second of intimacy with Bill. He’d never loved anyone the way he loved him. And on top of that, Bill was fucking beautiful. 

Bill just winked and then got down on his knees. Dipper held his breath.   
_Oh god, yes._

  
Bill licked his lips and looked up at Dipper, and his expression in that moment was among the sexiest things Dipper had ever seen. Then he took Dipper’s dick in his right hand, stroking it a little before starting to slowly lick over the tip of it.   
  
„Aaah… fuck… b-but Bill, don’t tease me too much…!“ 

„Don’t worry,“ Bill answered, „I’ll make this nice and quick.“  
  
With his other hand, Bill reached for his own - already hard - dick, stroking it at a slow pace. Bill was looking at him all the time, and clearly enjoying what he was doing. He didn’t waste any time and took it all in, sucking eagerly while jerking himself off. Dipper moaned quietly. He tried his best to hold back. He didn’t want the others to hear what they were doing. He wanted to move, but he was too concerned about the possibility of slipping in the shower and hitting his head, so he stayed still and covered his mouth with one hand in order to not make too much noise.  
  
Usually, Bill would have commented to just let go and moan out loud, but in this case he respected Dipper’s wish. It was very different after all when they were at the shack and not at Bill’s apartment. 

„Haah… Bill, mmh… that’s so good,“ Dipper said between heavy breaths.  
  
He could see that Bill was smiling even while sucking his dick. 

Then Bill started to deep throat him, and it was fucking amazing. Dipper tried to hold back really hard, but he couldn’t help but move his hips a little, trying to fuck Bill’s mouth. Bill’s movements on his own dick got faster. Was he already close? Had he been horny ever since he woke up? Dipper couldn’t think about it any more, because Bill’s sucking made him feel delirious.  
  
„Nnh—Bill, if you keep this up I’m gonna come soon…!“ He said, biting his lip hard.  
  
Right when Dipper said that, he could see Bill shake a little and moan around his dick. He had come. He stopped sucking for a moment, trying to catch his breath.  
„Come on, Pine Tree… Come in my mouth,“ he said, his voice lowered. So sexy.  
Dipper moaned as Bill went right back at it. Hesitating at first, Dipper grabbed a fistful of Bill’s hair and started to direct his movements. Until he finally cursed under his breath and came right down his boyfriend’s throat. Bill pulled away a little too soon, so some of it splattered all over his face. He swallowed, then grinned and licked the cum from his lips.  
  
„Oh fuck… that was amazing,“ Dipper breathed out. Bill got up from the shower floor and Dipper fell right into his arms.  
  
„Glad to be of service,“ Bill cackled, and then he kissed Dipper, the warm water now finally pouring over both of them. 

„Mmh… I love you…“ Dipper murmured against the other’s lips.  
  
„I love you too, little tree. Now let’s hurry, they are waiting for us.“   


* * *

 

  
Everything in Dipper’s life was pretty much perfect. Three years ago, he and Mabel had decided to move to Gravity Falls, as it had become somewhat of the city of their dreams with all the weirdness and the crazy people they had gotten attached to. It had been a hard decision - for Mabel. Because while Dipper had the opportunity to study the things he loved together with Stanford, Mabel had to give up on her studies. She had wanted to become an actress. But she had been struggling anyways, so in the end, it was her who came up to Dipper saying that she missed Gravity Falls so much she wished she could just live there and find a job instead of studying.  
  
With the help of family and all their friends in the town, the dream suddenly hadn’t been so far away anymore. Mabel had just wanted to work part time for starters, but then she started to work at the local fashion store, and just one year later she started to make her own little collection of clothes for children, something the store was lacking. Her sewing skills had improved so much in such a short time. And she was happy doing it. She was doing something she loved and making money with it - in the town she had always wanted to live in. Everything was small here, but everything was so nice, and what they had was enough to live on.  
  
Dipper had been studying with Ford and writing his first books. He was working on many titles at the same time, and all of them were either fantasy novels or actual scientific works in collaboration with his great uncle. Both him and Ford were still life savers for the people in town; the only ones who knew how to deal with gnomes or unicorns and how to exorcise a ghost. Dipper’s first fantasy novel had gotten published two years ago, and well, it wasn’t a bestseller, but it didn’t sell bad either. He was still pretty proud of it. And the next one would be better, he was sure.  
  
With all of these things coming together, and on top of that his wonderful boyfriend, he was really happy. He did miss his parents sometimes, but well, it wasn’t like they never visited them. Life was great like this. He was where he wanted to be, doing everything he had always wanted to do. And he’d found someone he loved.  
  
He’d met Bill right when they moved to town because he had just moved here too and happened to own an apartment right next to the store Mabel was working at. Everyone knew everyone in this town, so of course Mabel had to introduce herself right away, and so did Dipper. A little less enthusiastic than his sister, but still. But from the very first moment, he’d been fascinated by Bill. There was just something about him he couldn’t explain - maybe something weird and magical. And of course, he was very handsome. Every time he ran into Bill, he realized again that he had a crush on him. And then - Dipper still couldn’t believe it - Bill was the one who made a move, inviting him for a drink. It started slowly but steadily, and before Dipper knew it, they were dating. 

 

Now it had been three years, and Dipper couldn’t be happier. He was so glad that he had found Bill. He’d always felt so… _safe_ with him, so loved. And he still felt like that, after all these years together. Sure, Bill was kind of an idiot. He was chaotic, a wild soul - his ego about as tall as he himself was. He would make the worst kind of jokes at the worst times, and he’d sometimes do the craziest things. But well, he was _his_ idiot. And a very lovable idiot on top of that.

Everything was kind of crazy. He would have never expected his life to turn out like this, but it did, and it was wonderful.  
  
There was just one weird thing.  
One weird thing… or many. He didn’t know. Not yet.  
Lately, he was trying to keep track of things by writing a journal. Sort of like a diary.  
  
„Soos! Nice to see you, dude! Oh, and Melody, hi!“ He greeted them when he and Bill finally came downstairs. Mabel had been cooking, and the smell of fresh Lasagna filled the air of the Mystery Shack. Delicious!  
  
„I told you we have visitors!“ Mabel said, putting the lasagna on the table with oven gloves on.  
  
„Well, you could have told us yesterday,“ Bill said, greeting Soos with a brofist and Melody with a hug. 

„That would’ve ruined the surprise!“ Mabel said, winking at them.  
  
„Dudes, it’s like, so nice to see you again!“ Soos said, sitting down at the table.  
  
He and Melody had been traveling for a while and only returned a few days ago. They hadn’t seen these two in a long time. But it was nice that after so many years, they were still happy together. Before they went on their journey together, Soos’s grandma had passed away. It had been one of the saddest funerals Dipper had ever been to. But he was sure she was in a better place now - she’d always been such a good person. And well, she _had_ gotten very old.  
  
„Alright everyone, dig in!“ Mabel said after she’d put a big slice of lasagna on everyone’s plate.  
  
„Where’s Ford? Isn’t he gonna eat with us?“ Dipper asked.  
  
„Nah, he’s too busy today, caught himself up in something weird again,“ Stanley answered.  
  
„Grunkle Stan, are you… putting Ketchup on your lasagna?“  
  
Stanley stopped and coughed.  
„What? It’s better like that!“  
  
„Mr. Pines, that is s _uper_ disgusting,“ Soos commented, and Melody couldn’t help but laugh.  
  
Dipper shook his head, smiling. Looking at Soos and his girlfriend… no, his wife, brought back memories, but also a certain feeling of uneasiness. Dipper didn’t know why. He knew this feeling all too well - it was the same in his nightmares. Like something was wrong, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.  
  
„Hey babe, you okay? You’re staring,“ Bill quietly said so only Dipper could hear it, and it ripped him back into reality.  
  
„Yeah, yeah. Just… the nightmare. Can’t stop thinking about it,“ Dipper admitted. 

„Hm. If this keeps happening we gotta do something about it, y’know.“  
  
„Like what?“  
  
„Like… I don’t know, maybe therapy?“ Bill said, „It could be that there’s something in your subconscious that’s causing this, some kind of trauma you don’t even remember.“  
  
„Don’t be silly Bill. Like I’d need therapy,“ Dipper said, grimacing. He didn’t even want to think about stuff like that.  
  
„It’s just a suggestion. Keep it in mind, okay? I wanna see you smile when you wake up.“  
  
That made Dipper smile. Bill was just being too sweet.  
  
„How can you guys look at each other like that after being together for so long? I wish I could be in a stable relationship for just a year!“ Mabel complained, and Dipper blushed a little. He really wished for his sister to find the right person soon, too. She deserved it.  
  
„So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?“ Dipper asked.  
  
„Series Marathon!“ Mabel yelled and the fork almost flew from her hands.  
  
Dipper raised an eyebrow.  
„We’re _not_ watching My Little Pony.“  
  
Mabel pouted.  
„Geez, we can watch Sherlock or whatever else you wanna see, I’ll have the girls over next weekend for Pony night.“  
  
Bill laughed.  
„Never change, Shooting Star.“  
  
_Yeah,_ Dipper thought too, _never change_.


	2. Sleeping Peacefully

He stretched himself and yawned. It was the middle of the night and he was spending his time writing. He had wanted to write a new chapter for his book, but ended up writing in his journal instead. He was trying to piece things together, sketching up what his nightmare always looked like, but the shadow didn’t have a definite form.  
  
_What could it mean?_  
  
His laptop was open, he had googled various dream theories and meanings of dreams. Being chased in a dream apparently meant worry, and that one was supposed to face responsibilities. What responsibilities? _Is this about me not having a job or something?  
_  
„Being chased by dark shadows… huh…“ he murmured, then remembered to shut up so he wouldn’t wake up Bill. They were in his apartment today. It was around 2 am. Bill couldn’t stay up too late because he had to work the next day. Dipper felt a little bad for staying up like that and being able to sleep all morning.  
  
Back to his research, he looked up everything he could find about dreams in which people were chased by a shadow. Chase dreams were very common, apparently. They also could be interpreted in many different ways, and there were many different things people usually get chased by, from zombies to dogs or - Dipper shuddered - people they actually knew in real life. _Geez, that would be creepy._ Creepier than the shadow.  
  
But as much as Dipper thought about it, he had no idea why he had this recurring dream. According to all these oneiromancy websites, there _must_ be some reason, and Dipper couldn’t help but think so too - because a dream that kept showing again and again must have some kind of root. Maybe Bill was right. Maybe he needed a therapy session. But why?  
  
Everything was fine, right?  
  
_„Do you feel a sense of conflict between two aspects of yourself?“_  
  
The sentence made him narrow his eyes, looking at his journal.  
  
He sighed. Maybe it was time to go to bed.  


* * *

 

 

The next day, Dipper decided to go look for Stanford, because he hadn’t even heard anything from him ever since the other day. Like Grunkle Stan had said, he was probably caught up in something weird again, but that was it - whatever it was, Dipper wanted to be caught up in it too! 

„Ford?“ He called downstairs to the laboratory, but got no response. The lights in the corridor were broken, so it was kind of dangerous to go down there. Dipper was careful not to trip and fall down the stairs. „Foooooord!“  
  
„I’m here, I’m here!“ The old man finally answered, and Dipper was kind of relieved to see him.  
  
„There you are. Why didn’t you eat lunch with us yesterday?“  
  
„Didn’t have the time, sorry. Do you need something, Dipper?“  
Ford seemed kind of distressed, like he hadn’t slept a lot, which was probably the case. He was sitting at his desk and murmuring things Dipper couldn’t understand. He wasn’t even looking at him, which kind of annoyed Dipper. Then he spotted the mattress on the floor.  
  
„Wait, did you sleep in here last night?“ Dipper asked, seemingly confused.  
  
„Not just last night,“ Ford answered, „Why shouldn’t I?“  
  
„Aren’t you overdoing things a little? What’s the big deal? Did aliens land in Gravity Falls or something?“  
  
„Aliens landed here hundreds of years ago and you know that. No, this is about something else, and I’m not sure if I can tell you yet.“  
  
Ford being Ford, mysterious as always.  
  
„Why can’t you tell me?“  
  
Now his great uncle finally turned around to look at him. He looked really sleep deprived. Dipper knew that he sometimes just was like this, they all knew that and they accepted him like that, but maybe this time it was a bit too much.  
  
„You need sleep,“ Dipper said, shaking his head.  
  
„I’m fine,“ Ford answered, „Listen, can I ask you to investigate something?“  
  
„Huh?“  
  
Ford got up from his chair and stretched, and for a moment it looked like he was going to fall. He yawned.  
„You’re right, I really need to rest a bit… But I’m researching something big at the moment, and it won’t let me sleep. I didn’t want to bother you with it, you’re busy writing your book and studying mine, but well… Aaah, my back hurts.“  
  
„What’s this all about?“ Dipper asked, worriedly looking at the alarming amount of cans of energy drinks. 

Ford sighed deeply.  
„I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. Not yet. But what I’m asking you is… Just pay attention to your surroundings. Try to take notes of things people say when it seems to be kind of unusual.“  
  
„Unusual?“  
  
„I think some of the town folks are not… being themselves? I don’t even know how to put this. There’s something strange going on. Maybe it has to do with aliens, who knows, I don’t - maybe we should investigate the UFO again… hm…“  
  
„Ford, get some sleep,“ Dipper said, „You’re talking nonsense.“  
  
„Maybe. But maybe not. Be careful Dipper.“  
  
„Huh. sure,“ he answered, scratching his head. His great uncle was really being weird. But nevertheless, he’d take it seriously, because in the end Ford had always been right about things. Some town folks might not be themselves? What’s that supposed to mean?  
His first thought was stuff like vampires and werewolves. Maybe there was a secret epidemic going on they hadn’t noticed yet. But the last vampires they had dealt with had left the town years ago, and Dipper had never even seen a werewolf. Except for the mail man. Probably a werewolf, yeah. But a nice guy.  
  
„I’ll get you some tea,“ Dipper said, about to leave the room.  
  
„Get me my sleeping pills too, please,“ Ford answered.  
  
Dipper was a little worried. He couldn’t help it. But for now, there was nothing more he could do than to make sure his great uncle would sleep, at least for a while.  
  
Ford leaned back in his chair. It wasn’t the town folks who were weird, but he couldn’t tell that to the one person who _was_ being weird.  
„I’ll find out soon enough…“ He murmured, eyeing Dipper as he left the room.

 

* * *

 

Late afternoon, he went to pick up Bill from work. He actually felt bad about not studying or writing today. He’d stayed at the shack instead and helped out a little at the store. Grunkle Stan was having a hard time keeping the Mystery Shack up as he kept getting older. But even though he knew that Soos just dreamed of his chance to become the next Mr. Mystery, Stanley wanted to keep things up as long as he could. It was kind of his baby after all. Dipper tried to help him whenever he had the time.  
  
Entering the coffee shop, he inhaled the sweet smell. Good lord, he couldn’t live without coffee.  
  
Bill grinned at him from behind the counter, waving. Dipper smiled a little and sat down at a table. There was still some time left until Bill’s shift would end.  
  
„The usual?“ Bill asked, a little too loudly - it startled the other customers.  
  
Dipper just nodded.  
Bill looked as adorable as always in his white apron with the shops logo on it. Why did he never wear an apron when he was cooking? Bill was a very good cook. Not as good as he was at making coffee, but still much better than Dipper, who managed to almost burn down the kitchen the other day and could barely make himself some scrambled eggs.  
  
Dipper took out his laptop from his backpack. He was never out without his laptop. Or without the journal, but he was careful not to show it to anyone. Because the things written in it were kind of… weird.  
  
„Writing?“ Bill asked when he came to his table, handing him his caramel cappuccino. 

„Nah, just chatting,“ Dipper answered, „I’m being lazy today.“  
  
„Jealous.“  
  
„Sorry. I promise I’ll study again tomorrow. And I’ll have a new chapter of my novel done by the end of the week, probably,“ he tried to defend himself.  
  
Bill just huffed out a small laugh.  
„It’s okay, I’m not judging you. Are we gonna eat at the diner later? I’ve been thinking about that Farmer Burger all day.“  
  
„I thought we were gonna order pizza, but okay, sure. Let’s do that.“  
  
Bill couldn’t stop himself from ruffling Dipper’s hair for a moment before he returned back to work. His boss wasn’t the nicest woman in town, so he couldn’t slack off too much. Dipper remembered how she had been close to killing Bill when he’d dropped a tablet with 7 cups of coffee to the floor once. And even though that never happened again, she was still just as hard on Bill. Sometimes Dipper thought that Bill needed a different job. Or no job at all. He _was_ kind of rich.  
  
Bill had moved to Gravity Falls because his uncle - a distant relative of the Northwests - had died and happened to own multiple apartments in Gravity Falls. And Bill happened to own all of them now. A total of 15 apartments, and most of them were rented. Put the money he inherited on top of that and he really wasn’t someone who needed a job like that. But Bill was weirdly happy about his job. It seemed like he wanted to work at a place where he actually needed to _work_. He just wasn’t the type of guy who’d do a boring office job just to earn more money when he was happy with what he had. Dipper liked that about him.

Dipper spent the 30 minutes he had to wait for Bill’s shift to end with chatting with some online friends, and friends from back in Piedmont. Not that he _had_ that many friends back home, but well, quality over quantity. He wondered how his parents were doing. _I should call them later._  
  
  
Finally, the coffee shop was about to close. Bill quickly cleaned the last glasses and then started to mop the floor. The boss was used to Dipper being there, so she didn’t bat an eye when she left them alone in the already closed shop. 

„Ugh, finally she’s gone,“ Dipper said, closing his laptop.  
  
„She’s not that bad once you get to know her,“ Bill said.  
  
„I’d prefer not to.“  
  
It was quiet for a while. Bill finished everything up. When they closed the door behind them and locked it, it was already dark outside.  
„Curse this time of the year,“ Bill complained, „It was so nice and sunny all day. Wish I could’ve been out there.“ 

Dipper felt a little bad for not having been out in the sun all day, but he decided not to mention that.  
  
„Let’s go. You must be hungry.“  
  
„Oh yeah. I could just eat you up, Pine Tree,“ Bill said and winked.  
  
Dipper blushed a little.  
„Idiot,“ he murmured. Bill fetched a quick kiss from him.  
  
„Your idiot,“ he said and kissed him one more time.  
  
Dipper smiled.  
_Yep. All mine._  
  
„So what have you been doing all day, if you weren’t studying?“ Bill asked. It wasn’t very far to the diner from here. They would be there soon. Bill was really looking forward to that burger.  
  
„Helped out at the shack a bit. And made sure Ford got some sleep,“ Dipper answered.  
  
„Is he okay?“  
  
„I guess. He’s going crazy over something he wouldn’t tell me. He just said that I should be careful around people in town and see if I notice something strange about their behavior or something like that. He thinks they aren’t being themselves. But he didn’t tell me what exactly that’s supposed to mean.“  
  
„Sounds weird. Vampires?“  
  
„That’s what I thought too, but I didn’t notice anyone avoiding the sunlight lately. Then again, I didn’t pay attention. Huh.“  
  
„Maybe some mind controlling shit is going on again! Remember that Blind Eye thing?“ Bill suggested.  
  
„That wasn’t mind control. That was memory erasure.“  
  
„Whatever. But something like that.“  
  
Dipper sighed.  
„Like I said, he didn’t tell me.“  
  
Bill grinned at him. „Then we’ll have to find out ourselves, hm?“  
  
That actually sounded like a fun idea. Ever since they were dating, he had introduced Bill to the weird things going on in Gravity Falls, and well, they had been on some little adventures together - with Mabel too, of course. Can’t do nothing without his mystery twin after all.  
  
„Well, did you notice anything strange?“ Dipper asked.  
  
Bill frowned, thinking.  
„Not really. But just like you said, I didn’t pay attention. I’ll try to be more careful… If it’s important to Stanford.“  
  
Dipper was thinking, too. He _had_ noticed weird things. And maybe it was linked to whatever nonsense Stanford had been trying to tell him, but he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about anything. It was a memory issue. He hadn’t told Bill about it yet. But sometime soon he would have to. Because maybe this was somehow related to his recurring nightmare too. He would probably need Bill’s help with this.  
And Mabel’s.  


* * *

 

Later at night, Dipper was writing in his journal again. There was a page in it only for noting moments when _that_ feeling hit him. That weird feeling that something was wrong. He didn’t know what was wrong, or why he felt that way, but maybe it was the cause of his nightmares, so he needed to write down what was possibly causing these moments. It was always a weird mixture of the feeling he had in his nightmare and a feeling of Déjà-vu. 

 _— > When Ford was talking about when he was in Europe for many years.  
—> When Mabel was joking about Grunkle Stan getting tattooed.  
—> When Mabel rewatched an old childhood series of her with those horribly colored band boys.  
—> When Wendy told him about her apocalypse training every year instead of Christmas._  
  
It didn’t make much sense, and it wasn’t much either. He had only started to think about these particular moments yesterday. But still, he felt like it could be important, so he wanted to write it all up.  
  
„Dippeeeeer… come to bed,“ Bill whined.  
  
„Sorry. Give me like… 10 more minutes, okay?“  
  
Bill had been complaining for a while already, even though it wasn’t _that_ late. Dipper was pretty sure that his boyfriend had something else in mind than just sleeping. Dipper was too caught up in his journal to care about sex at the moment, but he knew that Bill would make him forget about everything with just a few passionate kisses and his hands all over his body. No one was able to drive him crazy the way Bill did.  
  
„Whatcha writing there anyways?“ Bill asked, not very amused.  
  
„Umm… A journal. I can’t tell you what it’s for yet. But soon.“  
  
„Now you’re acting just like your great uncle.“  
  
„Mmmhm. Maybe.“  
  
He switched off the light on the desk. Yawning, he got up and put the journal back in his backpack.  
  
„Y’know that I can just take it and read it,“ Bill said.  
  
Dipper smiled.  
„You wouldn’t do that.“  
  
„True. I probably wouldn’t understand anything written in it, either.“  
  
Dipper went to the bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth and throwing his clothes on the washing machine. Returning to the bedroom in just his boxers, he burst out laughing when he found Bill posing on the bed like in the „draw me like one of your french girls“ meme.  
  
„Seriously?“ He asked.  
  
„I wish I had a rose to put in my mouth,“ Bill said.  
  
Dipper jumped on the bed, startling Bill who couldn’t maintain his pose and fell over.  
  
„Hey! You ruined a perfect moment!“ The blonde complained.  
  
„Yeah, yeah. How about you shut up, come here and kiss me?“ 

Bill grinned and moved closer to Dipper, pushing him down into the sheets.  
  
„Gladly,“ he said, and kissed him gently. Dipper let out a sigh and returned the kiss. He loved the feeling of being pushed down like that, the feeling of being dominated by Bill. It made him blush when he thought about it like that. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how goddamn lucky he was - to have met someone like Bill. Someone who loved him and on top of that was among the sexiest people Dipper had ever met.  
  
„Bill?“ Dipper whispered against his lips, „Why do you even love me?“  
  
„Oh, Pine Tree. Not this again. I’ve told you a thousand times, I love you because you’re incredibly cute, you’re unique and a creative soul, and I just can’t get enough of you,“ Bill answered, and Dipper turned his head away, blushing heavily.  
  
„I just… It’s so hard to believe sometimes,“ He said.  
  
„You’ve told me that before, too. Don’t worry about it. And hey, other than all that, you don’t know how _sexy_ you are, especially when you’re below me like that and begging for more…“  
Bill’s lowered voice near his ear made him shiver in excitement, and he almost let out a small moan.  
  
„I— I love you, Bill,“ he said a little too quickly, and he was incredibly embarrassed about it for some reason.  
  
Bill just smiled and then kissed his forehead.  
„I love you too,“ he said, then winked at him, „And today you can yell it, there’s no neighbors who will hear.“ 


	3. What a lovely place to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha. I'm sorry guys, this was actually never meant to be a sweet story. 
> 
> Graphic rape/non-con ahead.  
> Can't handle? Don't read.

* * *

  
  
The doorbell at the Mystery Shack went off. Very loudly.   
„Coming!“ Stanley yelled, quickly putting on a shirt. It was 9 pm, who was disturbing his Saturday night Ducktective marathon? Grumbling, he opened the door.   
  
„Oh, Bill. It’s you. What are you doing here?“   
  
Bill smiled at him and held up a bag full of books.   
„Dipper sent me to return some books to Ford.“   
  
„Ah, yeah. He’s in the basement as always. Working on whatever. I don’t even know, I haven’t seen him in a while…“ Stanley said, scratching his head. He seemed to be unhappy about his brother’s selfish behavior.   
  
„Thought so. Should I try to talk some sense into him or something?“   
  
„Nah… You don’t have to. He’ll stop being weird eventually.“   
  
„Alright.“   
  
Stanley stepped aside to let Bill in. He’d gotten used to Bill being around in the past years, even though it had taken him some time to get used to the fact that his nephew was gay. But well, whatever. As long as the guy made him happy. Bill was nice and intelligent, a funny guy and a nice addition to the family overall. No reason to complain at all. His brother on the other hand had always made it pretty clear that he didn’t like Bill.   
  
„If he’s being an asshole, tell me, I’ll punch him in the face later,“ Stanley said and disappeared into the living room.   
  
Bill laughed.   
„Will do!“   
  
  
Bill whistled a happy melody while stepping down the stairs to the basement, careful not to fall. Still no new lights. It didn’t seem like Ford was planning to leave the basement any time soon.   
„Who’s there?“   
Ford’s voice echoed through the basement.   
  
„Just me, Bill. Here to return some books.“   
  
And to deliver greetings from Dipper, he thought and smiled.   
  
„Ah. You.“ Stanford said, not surprised and also not amused.   
  
Bill entered the huge laboratory and walked to the desk where Stanford was sitting. The old man turned around to face him, the look on his face wary. Bill ignored the obvious negative emotions towards him. It would be more than just a little hatred soon enough. He put the bag full of books on the floor and provokingly sat down on Stanford’s desk.   
  
„Anything else?“ Stanford asked, narrowing his eyes.   
  
„Y’know, Sixer, I’m really impressed.“   
  
„What?“   
  
„You already know, don’t you? About Dipper. So smart. Always one step ahead of everyone else. I’d give you a pat on the shoulder, but I know you don’t like it when people touch you.“   
  
„What on earth are you talking about? What about Dipper…?“

Bill grinned.   
„You tell me.“   
  
Stanford stood up, taking a step back.   
„What do you know? Who _are_ you?“  
  
„It doesn’t matter who I am. You don’t really care, either. But you do care about the well-being of your family, don’t you?“ Bill said, crossing his arms. Ford grew pale.   
  
„Don’t you dare threaten me,“ he said but sounded weak. It slowly dawned on him - what was happening here.   
  
Bill whistled, standing up from the desk and looking calmly at Stanford’s notes on the desk.   
„Woah, you actually went through the trouble of a DNA test? And Dipper didn’t even question it? Hahah. Oh, Pine Tree…“   
Then he started to pick up all the notes like it was the most normal thing in the world.   
  
„What do you think you’re doing?“ Stanford asked.   
  
„What do _you_ think I’m doing?“   
  
„Don’t answer my question with another question, you…!“   
  
It happened really fast when Stanford tried to grab Bill by his collar. Bill reacted very quickly, let the notes fall to the floor and pulled a knife from the inside of his jacket. Stanford made a surprised noise, but he didn’t let go of Bill, who was holding the sharp knife against the sensitive skin of his neck. 

„Don’t do something stupid, Sixer. You wanna know what happened to the real Dipper, don’t you?“ Bill said, grinning.   
  
Stanford’s eyes widened.   
„I knew it,“ he whispered, then asked a little louder, „Where is he?“   
  
Bill was still holding his phone in the other hand. Now he held it up and showed the old man a picture. It was Dipper, and he was not in a good condition. The background didn’t reveal much of his whereabouts. He looked like he had been beaten up, badly, and he was tied up, wearing nothing but his boxers. Stanford held his breath.   
  
„Now listen here, old man,“ Bill said, „If you keep this up and _my_ Dipper ends up realizing what’s going on, or if you lay a finger on him in any way, I’m gonna start sending you the fingers of _your_ Dipper, one by one. You’re gonna keep acting like nothing is wrong. And you’ll stop looking into this.“   
  
„Or else?“ Stanford asked, his expression pure hatred. He’d been right not to trust Bill all along.   
  
„Or else,“ Bill went on, „I won’t just kill him. I’ll kill your entire family, and I’ll make you watch.“ 

„You won’t get away with this!“   
  
„Oh, I love that phrase,“ Bill laughed, „It’s what they always say in the movies. Hahah. But y’know, I have absolutely nothing to lose. And that’s why I win.“   
  


* * *

  
  
  
Dipper had lost it long ago. His kidnapper had stopped tying him up. And it was really not necessary anymore, he wouldn’t try to run away. He’d learned his lesson. There was no way out of here anyways. At least he had the freedom to run around within the basement. He was hungry, but at the same time he felt like throwing up. It was always like this. He’d gotten thin - disgustingly thin. How much longer until he would lose the last bit of sanity he had?   
  
The door opened, and _he_ came in. His name was Bill, that was all he knew. Dipper didn’t know why he’d been kidnapped, what this man wanted from him, why any of this was happening. He didn’t know whether he really wanted to know, either. He just wanted to go home.   
  
„Hello, Dipper. How are you today?“ Bill asked. He seemed to be in a good mood. And that was when he was the scariest. Dipper tensed.   
  
„M’ fine…“ he said quietly, because it was probably what Bill wanted to hear.   
  
The blonde man came closer and Dipper automatically backed away.   
  
„Please,“ Dipper immediately said and raised his hands in defense, „Please l-leave me be!“  
  
„So scared. I didn’t even do anything yet. You’re adorable,“ Bill said, and his grin told Dipper that he wouldn’t get away from whatever Bill was planning to do to him. Dipper was shaking and staring at the floor with his eyes wide open when Bill raised a hand to gently cup his cheeks.   
„Now,“ Bill went on, „Be a good boy and get on the bed.“   
  


Dipper burst into tears, and Bill loved every second of it.   
  
This Dipper was his plaything.   
  
As gentle as he was with the other one, as much _fun_ he had with this one. Here, he could fulfill the fucked up desires that possessed him whenever he inhabited a human body. Here, he could still truly be himself. Because it didn’t matter at all what happened to this Dipper. He didn’t matter. He could as well be dead. 

„Please,“ Dipper choked out.   
  
Bill smiled, then he grabbed a fistful of Dipper’s hair and dragged him along to the small bed he usually slept in. Usually. Sometimes he preferred to sleep on the floor, because he hated the smell of the bed. The smell of sex. Dipper screamed and cried, stumbling after Bill, who threw him onto the bed. He tried to crawl away, but he was too weak to actually fight. 

„Y’know, I talked to Stanford today,“ Bill said calmly.   
  
Dipper sobbed.   
  
„He knows. After three years, he finally found out that you’re not with your family. Incredible, hm? But he won’t do anything about it.“   
  
_Why?_ Dipper thought, but didn’t dare to ask the question.   
  
Bill tilted his head.   
„You want to know why, hm? It’s because he wants you to live, and if he makes a move, I’ll kill you.“   
  
More tears found their way over Dipper’s face. Bill wiped a few of them away.   
„You’re a beautiful mess,“ the blonde chuckled, and kissed him. His right hand was groping Dipper through his boxers. Dipper started to feel numb. It was happening again. Whenever Bill decided to rape him, he felt like he was leaving his body and staring at the scene like a third person in the room. He could see himself getting hurt. But sometimes Bill would notice that he was spacing out, and tried to drag him back into reality.   
  
It was one of those days.   
  
Bill stopped groping him and slapped him right across his face.   
  
„Look at me. Not _through_ me,“ he ordered.   
  
„Y-yes…“ Dipper answered. He was horribly used to being treated like this. He didn’t want to look at Bill, but he had to. More than once, Bill had threatened to cut off parts of his body if he didn’t do as he was told. It scared Dipper more than any of the sexual abuse ever could. 

„Good boy,“ Bill said and ruffled Dipper’s hair.   
  
„C-can you… be gentle today?“ Dipper dared to ask.   
  
„Where’s the fun in that?“ Bill chuckled.   
  
„Please…“   
  
„Shut up.“   
  
Bill was kissing him again, and it was rough and demanding. Dipper tried to please Bill by returning the kiss. He didn’t know if it would work, but anything that wouldn’t make Bill angry was a good move. He was still shaking, but he accepted his fate. There was nothing he could do. 

„Undress,“ Bill ordered.   
  
Dipper flinched, but slowly took off his boxers.   
  
„Let’s try something new today, shall we?“   
  
Dipper didn’t like the sound of that. It couldn’t mean anything good. Bill smiled and got up from the bed. Of course Dipper didn’t move one bit. He had tried once. He’d tried to get away from Bill, and he had been punished hard enough to never do it again. 

Bill came back with a silver thing in his hand that looked like an anal plug, as well as a black collar. Dipper didn’t protest as Bill put the collar around his neck, but he flinched again when he pushed the anal plug against his asshole. No preparation, and his insides still hurt from last time. Tears ran down his face once again. Bill didn’t care. He shoved the plug inside Dipper and made him scream.   
Trembling, Dipper tried to calm down so it wouldn’t hurt as much, but he couldn’t relax at all.   
  
And then something happened, the feeling of getting stung by something took over him, especially around his neck and lower body. Some kind of force making his eyes widen, making him feel numb. He tried to scream again, but it was stuck in his throat. The sensation left his body tingling in a very uncomfortable way.   
  
„Hmm. Interesting. I was wondering how you’d react to this…“ Bill said, a small remote in his hands. „Where did it hurt more?“   
  
Dipper was having trouble to breathe, but he pointed weakly at the collar on his neck.   
  
„I should have known that plug wasn’t good enough. Just a toy after all.“   
With those words, Bill pulled the anal plug out again, and Dipper made a whining noise. Everything hurt. But at the same time, he felt numb. Were these things meant to… give him electric shocks?   
  
Bill didn’t waste any time taking off his pants and underwear, and Dipper was horrified at the fact that his kidnapper was already hard. Bill got off on seeing him cry, Dipper knew that. Disgusting. The blonde man started to rub his dick between Dipper’s skinny thighs and licked his lips.   
„Move,“ he ordered, and Dipper swallowed hard, then pressed his legs together around Bill’s cock and moved his hips a little. Bill had some kind of weird fetish for his legs. 

Another shock went through Dipper’s body. This time, he was able to cry out. Breathing heavily, he tried to focus on pleasing Bill and not get too distracted by the pain.   
  
„Aah… such a good boy,“ Bill moaned, his right hand moving to Dipper’s dick again.   
  
Dipper wished he wouldn’t touch him. He didn’t want to enjoy any of this. He didn’t want Bill to call him a good boy.   
  
Bill kept going at it for a while, shocking Dipper every now and then, and he could see that Dipper was starting to feel delirious and out of it. Bill grinned.   
„Don’t you dare faint,“ he warned him, and Dipper just nodded weakly.   
  
And then he started to fuck him. Dipper screamed out. It hurt so much. His insides were messed up - he wouldn’t be surprised if he was bleeding. Crying, he begged Bill to stop, but of course he was ignored. Another shock.   
  
_Someone help me._  
  
Bill went slightly faster, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the air around them.   
  
_Someone, please save me…_

Dipper was barely moving at this point. He felt too weak - He felt like some kind of lifeless sex doll.   
  
„Mmh… Yes, come on, Pine Tree - let me hear you, Ah— fuck—“ Bill groaned.   
  
Dipper obeyed by crying out some more. He didn’t feel like it was his own voice making these noises. He was moaning and sobbing at the same time. And he knew that Bill loved it.   
  
„B-Bill… please… stop…“ He choked out, and as a result, Bill fucked him harder. 

One more shock, and Dipper tensed, making Bill curse out loud and come inside of him. 

The tears on Dipper’s face had dried. With a blank expression, he stared at the ceiling. He felt hot but was shivering; he felt disgusting but also unsatisfied. He knew that Bill would leave him like this. He almost always did. Dipper had to take care of his problem himself. Bill enjoyed the aftermath of his orgasm, not pulling his dick out of Dipper for a whole while. When he finally did, Dipper didn’t even make a noise.   
  
_How can I still break when I’m already broken?_  
  
„Go clean yourself later,“ Bill simply said after a while, getting off him and starting to get dressed again. As if nothing had happened at all.   
  
Dipper nodded faintly.


	4. You haunt me in my dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone guessed the song from the chapter titles already? hahah. I'm trash

* * *

 

Dipper woke up drenched in his own sweat.  
It had been there again, in his dreams - the shadow chasing him - more horrifying than ever. The worst was that he was never actually getting caught, that he could never actually see his predator’s shape or face. He knew that getting caught would mean something bad, but he also wished for this terrible suspense to go away.  
  
He took a deep breath. Another one. One more time.  
He was fine, everything was fine. The darkness weirdly scared him, but the moonlight through the window showed him enough of his room to know that he was, indeed, in his room. And Bill was right next to him. Everything was okay.  
  
He didn’t want to wake Bill, but the weird feeling of being scared in the dark wouldn’t go away. He decided to get up quietly and go to the kitchen. _Water_ , he thought. _I need to drink something_. He had a bad headache too - maybe he would take a painkiller. His heart was still racing. How was he supposed to calm down and get back to sleep now?  
He blinked.  
_Am I…?_  
He could hardly believe himself, but he wiped his face with the back of his hand and there were actual tears. It’s been so long since he’d last cried over anything. But now the tears were falling, one after another, and he couldn’t stop himself.  
  
_What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I even crying?_  
  
He sat down at the kitchen table and just tried to focus on breathing and stopping the tears. He didn’t want Bill to worry too much. He honestly didn’t like the idea of going to therapy, and Bill would insist on it if he saw him break down like this. But no, he would figure this out by himself.  
  
Maybe something was haunting him. Some kind of ghost. It could be - they were in Gravity Falls after all, anything is possible in this town. And they have encountered actual ghosts multiple times before. Maybe some kind of dream-ghost or other creature that could cause nightmares existed here? A demon?  
  
_A dream demon…?_  
  
His headache got worse again. It felt like a sudden needle pinching into his brain. He quickly got up again and opened a drawer with medicine, all while hoping that Bill wouldn’t wake up. He took a pill and then moved back to the bedroom. The apartment wasn’t very big, so the other half of their bedroom was Dipper’s working space. He took his journal and a pen, then went back to the kitchen, closing the bedroom door behind him.  
  
He needed to write everything down.  
  
_I’m so tired… No, I have to write it down._  
  
The possibility of some creature haunting his dreams. And that it happened again - the date, the circumstances of the nightmare. But Dipper was suddenly very calm again, and he felt like he could fall asleep on the spot. He tried to sketch the shadow chasing him, giving it some kind of shape. He couldn’t come up with anything.  
  
_Just draw… whatever…_  
  
Dream demon…  
  
Haven’t I met something like that before…?

 

* * *

 

  
Bill woke up early, as always when he instinctively noticed that Dipper wasn’t next to him. He yawned and didn’t really want to get up at first. But then he decided to go look for his boyfriend. He was really tired. Tired of this whole human life actually, but well, a deal was a deal and he had to make sure that things went the right way. That he had turned the other Dipper into his personal little slave hadn’t even been part of the plan, but well, if he had to keep him alive, then why not? He chuckled. _Humans would know why not._  
  
It wasn’t like he couldn’t have fun with his Dipper as well, at least now - things used to be different. Dipper used to not see him at all, then see him as some kind of friend, and suddenly there was this attraction. Maybe it was because of the things he subconsciously remembered every now and then. Maybe that had triggered his interest, but it still didn’t explain the attraction. But like Bill would mind. This was much more fun than playing best buddies. And with the _other_ Dipper, it was a little easier to restrain his thirst to kill and cause chaos.  
  
Things couldn’t be better this time, he thought.  
But then he entered the kitchen and saw Dipper asleep on the table, drooling on his open journal. As adorable as that view was at first, Bill froze when he saw the open page.  
  
Dipper had scribbled it full of triangles with one eye.  


* * *

 

  
  
Stanford couldn’t just give up like that.  
He had to find the real Dipper, before… _before what?_  
Would Bill really go that far, kill them all? Was he capable of doing that? He would definitely kill Dipper, Stanford believed that much. But maybe there was a way to save him.  
  
He had never trusted him, and he’d been right not to.  
  
He was still in the basement, and he was truly desperate. He didn’t dare to tell anyone what happened with Bill. Not yet. He had to figure out some kind of plan. But first he had to figure out what was going on - _why_ there were two of them.  
  
He wasn’t just a clone. Or was he? A clone wasn’t supposed to share memories with their original, right? Or was that possible? He remembered the cursed copy machine. But he already knew that the false Dipper didn’t exactly have a problem with water.  
  
Think, Stanford.  
  
The most important question was who the other Dipper really is.  
Because if he could figure that out, he could decide whether this false Dipper is a threat or not. _Bill_ was a threat. Maybe the other Dipper wasn’t. Maybe the other Dipper didn’t even know the truth. How was Bill caught up in this?  
  
_Three years._  
It had taken him three goddamn years to notice that this wasn’t him.  
  
And he couldn’t even prove it, because their DNA was the same!  
  
How was it possible for a clone to have the memories of the original? Not _all_ memories, but enough of them to make this completely impossible. The fact that the false Dipper didn’t have all the memories the real Dipper had, and seemed to have memories of things the real Dipper never experienced, was their only difference. There was nothing else.  
  
Did Bill clone Dipper for the sole reason of kidnapping the real one without anyone noticing? But it was still impossible. Shared memories. How? _How, Stanford?  
  
_ He groaned. This was too much.  
He had a plan, but it was risky. His assumption was that the false Dipper didn’t know the truth, either. He couldn’t imagine someone fooling him for three years, having his full trust, and then turning out to be a killer or kidnapper. Even if it was a clone. He would have noticed, right? He would have sensed something evil about him. But there was nothing. This Dipper could as well be his actual nephew.  
  
_But what if you’re wrong, old man?_  
  
If he was wrong, then he was out of ideas.  
_This is better than doing nothing._  
  
It was time to go upstairs and try to be his usual self.

* * *

 

 

„Dipper. hey, babe. Wake up.“  
  
Dipper murmured something in his sleep. Then he blinked. Everything was blurry.  
„Hmmm…?“  
  
„You fell asleep on the kitchen table,“ Bill said. His voice was gentle. He seemed worried.  
  
And Dipper remembered why.  
  
„O-Oh! I— I just— I just couldn’t sleep and…“  
  
„Dipper.“  
  
He looked away. It was obvious that something was wrong with him. Goddamnit. He didn’t want Bill to worry!  
  
„Will you tell me what happened?“ Bill asked, sitting down next to him.  
  
Dipper sighed deeply.  
„Alright. I had the nightmare again. It was even worse than usual. I panicked a bit and I wanted to write it all down again because I still want to figure this out somehow and then…“  
  
„And then?“  
  
Dipper looked at Bill, but Bill was looking at the table. At his journal. At the open page.  
  
„Huh?“ 

  
The entire page was full of triangles with one eye. The all seeing eye.  
  
„Have you been watching or reading too much Illuminati stuff?“ Bill asked, and Dipper wasn’t sure if his boyfriend was joking or not.  
  
„I…“ He tried to say something, but he couldn’t even remember drawing all that. A little, maybe, but not the entire page. „I honestly don’t even know what this is about… Did I draw in my sleep? Is that even possible? Sleep-drawing? What even…“  
  
Bill narrowed his eyes. Dipper’s subconscious was getting too strong, again. _For fuck’s sake_ , Bill thought. Three years and now this.  
  
„Have you thought about therapy?“ Bill asked, even thought he really didn’t want Dipper to go to therapy. Humans who knew a lot about their own psychology are scarily good at drawing out what someones subconscious wanted to tell them.  
  
„I don’t want to,“ Dipper answered, still not looking at him, but staring at the triangle page.  
  
This simple shape made him feel something, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Fear? Nostalgia?   
  
„Bill… did we ever meet something like a dream demon? We did, didn’t we? No, wait, you didn’t. I was little… But Mabel, she would remember! That’s right!“ Dipper said and his eyes widened, „Of course! There was a demon that had invaded Stan’s mind, and we beat it somehow! Maybe a demon like that is messing with my head!“  
  
_This is bad,_ Bill thought.  
But there was nothing he could do at the moment.  
  
„Uh… I mean, we’re in Gravity Falls. This town is weird, we all know that. Maybe you’re right. But I wouldn’t think too much about it. Recurring nightmares are common, aren’t they?“ He said.  
  
It seemed to calm Dipper a little.  
„Maybe I’m getting too worked up about all this…“  
  
„Maybe. But I’m not saying to just let it be. There’s gotta be a way to get rid of the nightmares, and we’ll find it, alright?“ Bill said, drawing Dipper closer and kissing him on the forehead.  
„I’ll help you if I can.“  
  
„Thanks. I love you.“ 


	5. I can't tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took me a while, sorry. Was terribly busy, but I'm not dropping this. 
> 
> Please share your conspiracy theories with me.

* * *

  
  
Triangles. _Why Triangles? The all seeing eye?_  
Dipper had absolutely no idea what this was about. But he also felt strangely alarmed about it. He was on his way to Mabel’s place. It was Sunday. Dipper had taken his journal with him. He was thinking about showing it to Ford, since Ford had asked him to investigate things that seemed off to him. There were a lot of them now.   
  
“Dipper! Hurry up, they are waiting for us!” Mabel yelled from afar.   
  
Dipper waved at her, but he didn’t bother running.   
  
Mabel pouted.   
“We don’t have family days that often anymore. Being punctual is important!” She said. She had been waiting outside for Dipper. They would drive to the Gravity Falls Lake now and have a picnic with their gruncles. Without Bill, because they all knew Ford wasn’t too fond of him. Dipper was strangely okay with that. No one can like everybody they meet. 

Mabel went to the garage where her car was parked.  
  
Something struck Dipper like lightning.   
He stopped walking and needed a moment to breathe.   
_What…?_

What was it now? The car? Something about the car?   
He couldn’t tell.   
  
“You coming?” Mabel asked.   
  
“Y-yeah,” Dipper said, but he felt strangely uncomfortable about this situation.   
He took a deep breath and entered the car.   
  
„What’s with you? Seen a ghost or something?“   
  
„I’m fine.“   
  
No, he wasn’t. Something about this entire situation felt off. A feeling of deja vu, maybe? Or something similar? He shook his head. There was absolutely nothing to worry about. He couldn’t be paranoid 24/7. A family fun day was exactly what he needed right now.   
  
He took a deep breath.   
  
_Don’t freak out. Everything’s fine._   
  


* * *

 

Bill was back at the hideout. Sometimes he had to be there not just for fun, but to make sure the other Dipper took a bath, washed his clothes - or, well, ate something once in a while. Things like that. He didn’t want him to die after all. And he also didn’t feel like banging someone who didn’t take showers.   
  
Dipper never said a word unless asked something. He didn’t dare to say anything that might make Bill mad for whatever reason.   
  
Right now, there was just silence, with Bill going through the files he had stolen from Stanford, and Dipper sitting on the floor as far away from him as possible.   
  
„Did you eat something today?“ Bill asked, not looking at him.   
  
„Yes…“ 

„Can’t hear you.“   
  
„Yes!“ Dipper replied, louder. It was true, he’d eaten something, but he also felt like throwing it right up again. He shivered. It was cold in here. But whenever Bill was here, he felt like he was frozen in place, so he didn’t dare to get up and move to the bed. Even though the blanket would have been nice right now.   
  
Bill didn’t really give a damn about this Dipper, but keeping him alive was what would allow him to keep Stanford under control. Going through Ford’s files, he came to the conclusion that the old man hadn’t figured out what was _really_ going on. And that was good. 

Sooner or later Dipper’s memories would come back, probably. What then?   
  
„His decision, not mine,“ Bill murmured, reminding himself.   
  
It would be a lie to say he wasn’t having fun with the entire situation. But he also had started to _feel_ things, and _that_ was kind of disgusting. Feelings. Weird. It’s not like he never had those before. In the million years of his existence, he’d meddled with so many humans, and he’d experienced the entire range of possible emotions by possessing them. This time was no different, he was possessing a human body, so of course he would feel things again. He just had to remind himself that these feelings weren’t real, because he wasn’t himself.   
  
Bill yawned. Being in multiple dimensions at once was exhausting as always.   
  
„Hey, Pine Tree.“   
  
Dipper flinched.   
„Yes?“   
  
„I’m done here,“ Bill said, getting up from his chair and stretching himself for a moment. Then he looked at Dipper at the other side of the room, and smiled. He came closer, and Dipper’s stomach immediately dropped, staring at Bill with wide eyes like a scared animal. He pressed his back against the wall, not getting up.   
__  
Please go away, please go away, please go away…!  
  
„Say, Pine Tree. Did my name ever make you feel like you’re remembering something?“ 

Dipper was confused.   
„S-sorry, what do you mean?“   
  
„My name. Bill Cipher. Ring any bells? Ever meet some other being with that same name? A demon, maybe?“   
  
Dipper just stared. He was trying to think of anything that Bill might want to hear, but there was nothing. What was Bill trying to say?   
  
„Nothing? Good.“   
  
Bill had to make sure that this Dipper wasn’t remembering anything that never happened to him. For some reason, Stanford was remembering things he shouldn’t. Going through the files had made him realise that it was happening again - Stanford was having weird dreams that included Bill’s true form and memories he wasn’t supposed to have. But why? He was a goddamn normal human being. There was nothing supernatural about Stanford Pines. Or… was there?  
  
„I’m… I’m sorry, I really can’t think of anything…“ Dipper said quietly, just for the sake of saying something, because Bill silently staring at him scared him. 

„It’s good. It’s supposed to be like that. You’ve never met me before I kidnapped you. That’s how things are supposed to be,“ Bill said.   
  
Dipper was fighting with tears again.   
Why was no one trying to save him? Why was there another one that took his place? Why was Bill keeping him here anyways? It didn’t make any sense! 

„Now, now. Didn’t you cry enough today already?“ Bill said, smiling.   
  
Dipper just looked at the floor, holding back his tears.   
  
Bill kneeled down and pushed Dipper’s hair back, kissing him on the forehead, right where his birth mark was.   
„You’re so adorable. I’d make you mine forever, but there’s only one _you_ that matters.“   
  
Dipper was shaking. Bill was way too close. His tears fell, and he couldn’t do anything about it.   
  
And then Bill yanked his hair back with full force and kissed him. Dipper was so tense, he felt like he was going to fall apart. Bill kept kissing him and came closer at the same time, shoving Dipper to the floor. Dipper felt like he was going to hyperventilate.   
  
He had hoped Bill would leave him alone today.   


 

* * *

 

 

„And then I locked that drunk guy out of the gift shop and he was standing out there knocking at the window for 20 minutes! Ugh,“ Stanley said, taking a bite off his skewer.   
  
„Drunk people in Gravity Falls, huh,“ Dipper said, shaking his head.   
  
„As if you never get drunk, Stanley,“ Ford mentioned.   
  
„Hey, I don’t get drunk. I just drink a lot, but I don’t get drunk!“   
  
„Yeah, yeah.“   
  
Mabel laughed, her mouth stuffed with Marshmallows. Dipper wondered how she could eat so many of those. They were way too sweet for his taste.   
  
„Oh yeah… Don’t know if this is the time to bring it up, but Ford, I gotta talk to you,“ Dipper said, „And Mabel too, kind of.“   
  
Mabel made a confused sound, and Ford just nodded.   
  
„What is it, Dipper?“ He asked.   
  
„You’ve told me to investigate a little and see if there’s strange things happening around me or if the town folks are acting weird. Well… I have,“ Dipper said, and took the journal out of his backpack.   
  
„Looks like one of my old journals,“ Ford noticed.   
  
„It’s based on them, I guess,“ Dipper admitted, blushing a little. He’d always looked up to Ford, but finding out that he was the author of that journal that had been guiding him through Gravity Falls as a kid, that had been something else.   
  
„I’ve been trying to rewrite them after they got destroyed, but I got caught up in so many other things that I never finished them,“ Stanford said.   
  
They got destroyed, right. How again? There was a fire, he remembered.   
  
„Now… I’m not exactly one to spend a lot of time with the townsfolk. But I think other people aren’t remembering some things the way I do when I ask them about it. I’m strangely paranoid lately, and then there’s… this,“ Dipper explained and opened the page he’s scribbled full of triangles. „I’m not sure how, but I think I did that unconsciously.“   
  
„Woooow. I thought you were over your Illuminati phase,“ Mabel said jokingly.   
  
„Mabel, this is serious. Do you have any idea what this could be about?“   
  
Stanford stared at the page.   
  
„I think I do,“ he said, „But I don’t know how that’s connecting the dots. I’ve been having dreams with a creature in that form lately. Some kind of demon.“   
  
„Right!“ Dipper yelled, „It’s a dream demon, isn’t it? Mabel, don’t you remember? We’ve faced that triangle demon off when we were little! He was trying to mess with Stan’s head!“   
  
Mabel tilted her head.   
„Uh. I don’t remember that,“ she said.   
  
Dipper blinked.  
„Really?“   
  
„Me neither,“ Stan said, „What’s this all about? Are y’all in crazy conspiracy mode again?“   
  
Stanford didn’t know what to say. Was this Dipper having the same weird dreams he had? Why? How? This wasn’t even the real Dipper!   
  
_Careful, Stanford._  
  
If he were to tell this Dipper about the real one, the real one would be in great danger. This Dipper would tell everything to Bill, even if he were to tell him not to. Now the solution would be… _For this Dipper to find the real one without me telling him._

„I kind of remember what this is about. But I’m not entirely sure. I feel like I’ve only seen this in my dreams,“ Stanford said, „But thank you for bringing it up. We should look into it.“ 

 

* * *

 

 

„I’m home!“ Dipper yelled through the apartment. 

  
He found his boyfriend in the living room, watching a horror movie.   
  
„What’s this?“   
  
„No idea, it was on TV and I’m too lazy to look up the name of the movie,“ Bill answered, looking up at Dipper, „Welcome home. How was the picnic?“   
  
„Pretty nice. The weather was perfect for it. What have you done all day? Just watching movies?“   
  
„I’ve been out a bit, jogging.“   
  
„Cool. Make room,“ Dipper said, and Bill shuffled over on the couch.   
  
Dipper made himself comfortable on the couch and cuddled up to Bill, who welcomed him in his arms. It were these kind of moments that made him forget about his paranoia and all the weird stuff in this town in general. Just casual moments like this, with Bill. 

„I’ve talked to Stanford about the triangle thing,“ Dipper said.   
  
Bill blinked. „And?“   
  
„He said he’s been seeing a creature in that form in his dreams. Or something like that. And I brought up the dream demon, but Mabel and Stan don’t remember. I do, though… I think…“   
  
„You sure you haven’t been dreaming yourself?“   
  
Dipper sighed.   
„No. I’m not sure. That’s the problem.“   
  
Bill stroked Dipper’s hair. 

„I mean, I know the feeling, sometimes you wake up and you don’t know anymore which one of these things really happened, hm?“  
  
„Yeah, but that’s… it’s different. I’m like _sure_ that these things have happened. It’s more like everyone around me forgot.“   
  
Ugh. Bill didn’t want things to end so soon.   
_It’s been three fucking years, can’t you just go on without suspecting anything?_  
  
„Well that’s not possible now, is it?“ He said, laughing a little.   
  
„But maybe it is,“ Dipper answered, not in the mood to laugh.   
  
„Hey. Don’t think too much about this stuff. It will just give you another nightmare,“ Bill said, drawing Dipper closer to kiss him passionately.   
  
Dipper sighed into the kiss and quickly gave in. He _wanted_ to just not think about it, he _wanted_ to forget and simply live his life. There was nothing to complain about, no reason to have nightmares like this. Bill could help him. Help him forget. He didn’t want to think about the things that were giving him massive headaches, be it his strange deja vus, the triangles, or whatever else.   
  
„Bill…“ He sighed, breaking the kiss, „Help me clear my mind.“ 

„Are you asking me what I think you are?“ Bill asked, smiling knowingly.   
  
„Yeah. Fuck me. Hard enough so I’ll only think of you.“ 

 

Bill licked his lips, then kissed his boyfriend again, and the passion he laid into this kiss was real. He carefully moved around on the sofa so he could push Dipper down on it, restraining his hands, knowing very well that his little tree loved that. Dipper let out a sigh, his eyes closed and his cheeks beautifully flushed. He loved every second of this. After all these years, it was still beautiful, to feel wanted, to feel loved. When they did it, Bill always looked at him the same way he did back then when it was their first time. 

„I love you, Pine Tree,“ Bill muttered against his lips, and Dipper couldn’t help but smile.   
  
„I love you too…“ 

Bill proceeded to undress him, and also himself, slowly but steadily, all while making out. Their movements got faster, more passionate, more eager. Pure lust was written in both their eyes. Between quiet moaning and heavy panting, they got rid of their last pieces of clothing, and then they pressed their bodies against each other, enjoying the warm feeling of skin on skin. Bill’s right hand soon enough moved to Dipper’s dick, bringing it to life with slow but steady strokes. Bill, on the other hand, was already hard.   
  
„Aaah… Bill…“ Dipper moaned.   
  
„Mmh… let me hear you…“   
  
Dipper moaned a little louder in response, moving his hips a little to meet Bill’s touch. He was starting to get desperate.   
  
„Please, I need you, I don’t even need much foreplay today, just take me—“  
  
Bill laughed a little, then he kissed Dipper’s forehead, and Dipper blushed at the romantic gesture.   
  
„Anything for you,“ Bill said, „Also, less foreplay means I’ll last longer.“   
  
Dipper exhaled, his face flushed. „Good…“ He murmured, „Lube, tho?“   
  
„I’ll go get it. Finger yourself while I’m gone.“ 

Dipper licked his lips at the thought of Bill watching him masturbate and finger himself, so he got right to it. Bill was back shortly after, but instead of immediately getting back at Dipper, he _did_ shamelessly watch him.   
  
„Mmmh… Bill… I want you…“ Dipper moaned while he presented himself in the most obscene manner to his boyfriend, fucking himself on his fingers and stroking his dick with the other hand.   
  
„You’re so hot, little tree…“ Bill said. The tone of his voice was dark and kinda husky. It was sexy as fuck, and Dipper loved it.   
  
Finally, Bill returned to him, kissing him hard while lubing up his own dick.   
„Ready?“ He whispered into Dipper’s ear, and the other shuddered.   
  
„Yes, please…! Aaah— Aaaah!!“   
  
Dipper almost yelled when Bill pushed inside of him with a single thrust. It didn’t hurt a lot - he was used to it - but it felt absolutely amazing. Dipper rolled his eyes back, breathing heavily.   
„M-more…! Move, move!“ 

And Bill did. He started to fuck him painfully slow, kissing him hungrily at the same time. Dipper’s moaning got out of hand. He was _loud_ \- he always was when no one could hear them. He _wanted_ to be loud, because he knew Bill loved it.   
  
„Aaah… that’s it, fuck…!“ Bill cursed under his breath, increasing the pace.  
  
„Harder— Bill, p-please, Aaah!“   
  
Dipper was shaking, it felt so good, so incredibly good— If Bill were to touch him now, he’d probably come already. But Bill was taking his sweet time with that, pushing Dipper to the very edge. When he finally hit the good spot inside of him, Dipper arched his back and groaned, and he finally forgot about everything else - There was nothing but Bill, and him, just the two of them. He felt like he was losing it.   
_So good… so good…!_  
  
And Bill really did last long. Long enough to make Dipper desperately want to come. When Dipper noticed that Bill was close, by the way his movements changed, he expected Bill to finally touch him where he needed it most, but he didn’t. Dipper made the most desperate noise when Bill came inside of him. He felt so full— so good, but he still needed to come, he needed to—   
  
Bill pulled out of him immediately and moved down to close his lips around Dipper’s dick. Dipper’s eyes widened and he started moaning twice as much than before while Bill sucked him off. It didn’t take long - he bucked his hips up and came right into Bill’s mouth.   
  
„F-fuck— yes— yes, aaah, yes…!“ He kept moaning as he bucked his hips up a few more times. Bill waited patiently until Dipper was done, then swallowed it all. Dipper’s expression was beautiful - Fucked up, literally.   
  
„Fuck, thank you— I— that was so hot…“ Dipper managed to breathe out, trying to calm down from his overwhelming orgasm.   
  
Bill smiled, then moved up to kiss him again.   
„Love you, my dear,“ he said.   
They enjoyed the aftermath, with Bill just lying on top of Dipper and both of them simply enjoying the other’s warm body.   
  
„I love you more…“ Dipper muttered. He was exhausted.   
  
„I really doubt that,“ Bill replied.   
  
At this point, Bill didn’t know anymore how many of his words were actually true. But he was starting to not really care. Sometimes, emotions were kind of a good thing.   
Sometimes.


	6. Looking for something that can't be found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUPRISE YOU GET TWO CHAPTERS IN A ROW HAPPY BIRTHDAY

* * *

 

  
Dipper tried to connect the dots. He’d been talking to his family members about everything. But the only one who seemed to actually know something was Stanford.  
  
However, he’d also noticed that Stanford wasn’t being honest with him. 

Clearly, his great uncle was trying to avoid talking about certain things. Dipper was just wondering what they could be about. What kind of thing could Ford not tell him? He thought they were close. Apparently not close enough. Or was he imagining things? No, Ford was hiding something. Dipper had noticed by the way his great uncle was taking too much time to carefully consider his words whenever they were talking lately. 

The dots, Dipper. Connect the dots.  
  
_— > When Ford was talking about when he was in Europe for many years.  
  
_This one Dipper hadn’t figured out yet. Ford was definitely gone and it was for about 30 years. He remembered that. Still, something about this statement felt wrong. _  
  
— > When Mabel was joking about Grunkle Stan getting tattooed.  
  
_This point just confused him. He could’ve sworn that Stan actually had a tattoo, something on his shoulder, but at the same time he knew that there was nothing. __  
  
— > When Mabel rewatched an old childhood series of hers with those horribly coloured band boys.  
  
Now that one was just stupid, right? Or was it?   
  
—> When Wendy told him about her apocalypse training every year instead of Christmas.  
  
He wasn’t sure if Wendy was joking about that. Maybe it was just the word apocalypse that made him kinda shudder. Paranoid much, Dipper Pines, he thought.

Now, what else? Right, that one - he had to add it.  
  
_— > When Mabel and me got in the car on our way to the picnic. _  
  
Whatever the hell was wrong about that. But something did feel terribly wrong about it. The feeling was the same feeling he got when he was reading or watching a thriller and unsure whether something that had just happened was foreshadowing or not. That kinda weird feeling. But what was wrong? Them going to the picnic? Them getting into the car? Mabel listening to her weird terrible pop music? Dipper had no idea at all. 

 

Now, what Stanford had told him.  
  
Stanford was having dreams about a triangle shaped demon with one eye. He’d told Dipper all about it, and seemed to be honest, too. Honestly confused. He’d said that he never met a demon like that before, but he kept appearing in his dreams, for years already, but more so lately. Now that was definitely a connection. Dipper scribbling his journal full of exactly that shape can’t possibly be a coincidence. And he _remembered_ a demon like that from his childhood. Vaguely, but still, he was sure.  
  
The question was why no one else could remember meeting him.  
  
Him? Did the demon have a name? 

Dipper groaned. His head was hurting from all this nonsense. But he felt like he was so close to figuring out what’s actually going on. Maybe this demon was also the shadow haunting him in his dreams. Maybe this demon had been messing with his head, and with his memories, or with the other’s memories. This was Gravity Falls - He knew very well that anything was possible in this crazy town.   
  
_„Listen, Dipper. I don’t know if this is real, because I only dreamed about it. But there are two places I remember from my dreams. One I’ve actually been to, because I recognised it - it’s a cave near the falls, I explored it many years ago. In my dream, I found the incantation to summon the demon there. But when I went there last week… there was nothing.“_  
  
_„And the other place?“_  
  
_„Hidden in the woods. I don’t know where. It’s a secret underground laboratory. I have no idea if it actually exists. But if you could find it… Just— Dipper— do not tell anyone, anyone at all—“_

For some reason, Dipper’s heart was beating really fast, thinking about his conversation with Stanford. Was he actually getting excited about this? Was this an adventure to him? Well, truth be told, he did love mysteries, and he loved exploring them together with his family as well as Bill. But considering his nightmares, this one wasn’t exactly fun. 

„A secret underground laboratory, huh?“ Dipper muttered.  
  
Wait. 

What?  
  
He’d been there, right? The underground laboratory in the woods— of course! They had been there! All of them— Mabel, Wendy, Soos— The _shapeshifter_ —  
  
„Oww…!“ Dipper whined and held his head with both hands. 

What was going on? Why did he remember this _now_ and not before?  
  
„Dipper? You okay in there?“ he heard Bill’s voice from the living room.  
  
„No,“ Dipper answered, „My head hurts like hell. I need a painkiller…“ 

„Gotcha.“ 

  
A minute later, Bill entered the room with some aspirin and a big glass of water.  
  
„You’re not drinking enough,“ Bill said.  
  
„I know, I know…“  
  
„Uh… and what the hell are you doing?“ 

Bill raised an eyebrow at all the little notes, pictures and scribbles on Dipper’s desk.  
  
„Trying to make sense of this mess. Bill, I’m… I’m suddenly remembering things that I didn’t remember a few hours ago, and I don’t know if it’s just because it’s been so long, or if it never actually happened, or if I’m just really tired— I just…“  
  
„Hey,“ Bill said, ruffling his hair, „Calm down. Take a break when things get too much for you. Also, you’re _really_ caught up in this lately. Are you even studying?“  
  
„Who cares about studying when some demon is probably messing with my head!“ Dipper almost yelled, and immediately regretted it.  
„…sorry. Not like it’s your fault.“ 

Bill almost wanted to laugh for a moment. Yeah. Not like it was _his_ fault. But hey, in a way, it really wasn’t, right?  
„How would you know, though?“ He asked.  
  
„Stanford’s been telling me all about his dreams, and they are about a demon, with the same shape I’ve been drawing, and… and… I don’t know… I remember this! At least I… I think I do,“ Dipper said, clearly confused, „And then he said I should look for—“

 _Do not tell anyone— anyone at all—_  
  
Dipper immediately stopped talking. Right. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. But this was Bill - he could tell Bill, right? No… No, he wouldn’t.  
  
„Nevermind… Forget it, Bill. I think I’m going crazy…“  
  
Bill looked worried. He sighed, then kissed Dipper briefly on the forehead.  
„Hey, you’ve always been a little crazy. Me too. That’s why we go so well together,“ he said.  
  
Dipper smiled a little.  
„Thank you. Really. You always keep calm no matter how stressed I am, or if I accidentally yell at you, or whatever else. I don’t know how I deserve you.“ 

„Don’t worry so much, Pine Tree.“ 

A short kiss.  
  
„Try to sleep.“ 

 

* * *

 

In his dreams, he was running again. The shadow, it was there again. Dipper was trying to hide, but every time, it would come closer and closer, and when it was almost close enough to get him, he’d run again and find a new place to hide. A never ending circle of fear.  
  
He wished for nothing more than to wake up again.  
  
He was terribly aware of the fact that he was dreaming.  
  
But that was a first. He’d never been _this_ aware of the nightmare before. It felt almost like… as if he was awake, but he was sure he wasn’t. He was breathing heavily. The woods - he was in the woods. The laboratory. It was somewhere here, he was sure. Maybe he could hide there. Maybe he would be save there. Hidden under a tree. Some kind of lever would trigger the entrance. He remembered, he remembered, he was so sure.  
  
Steps, he could hear them. It was the shadow.  
  
He’d found the laboratory. He was running again. But the footsteps behind him were running at a faster pace. Dipper’s eyes were wide with fear and filled with tears. He just wanted it to be over.  
  
_Let me wake up, please, let me wake up—_  
  
Dead end.  
What? A dead end? 

 

Nowhere to run. Footsteps, still audible. Not running anymore. But still coming closer. There was nowhere he could run to now. But that was new. That had never happened before in this dream. Closer, he was coming closer — he? The shadow? Who was it? 

 

Someone he knew.  
  
Hands around his neck.  
  
He was choking him.  
  
Tears, falling onto his face. And from his face. From a desperate face full of anger, fear, disgust, and so many more emotions. He could finally see him. His own face.

 

* * *

 

Dipper woke up in cold sweat. He was crying. 

 

Bill was sound asleep next to him.  
  
It was around 4 am.  
  
Himself. The shadow wasn’t just someone he knew, it was himself. He’d been staring at his own face, he’d been choked by his own hands. Shaking and crying quiet tears, he stared at his hands. What was that supposed to mean? All this time, the shadow hunting him down and trying to kill him in his dreams had been _himself?_  

His head hurt again.  
  
Himself, dead. He suddenly vividly remembered this image from somewhere. How could he remember something that was literally impossible? But he did. It was right there. At some point, somewhere, god knows when— he had seen his own dead face, his own dead body. A corpse. Where? When? How? In his dreams? 

He couldn’t help but cry more and more. He was trying to keep quiet, as he didn’t want to wake Bill. But he was in agony. Everything hurt, from his head to his heart. He was suffering from something he didn’t understand. How was he even _supposed_ to understand this? What the hell were these memories, and where did they come from?   


Mabel.  
  
The sudden thought of his sister made him shudder. He immediately got up from the bed, grabbed his phone from the nightstand and left the room. He called her.  
  
Ringing.  
  
Ringing.  
  
Click.  
  
_„…Dipper? Seriously?“  
_  
Dipper was confused, crying, and for some reason worried about his sister. But he felt relieve at the fact that she picked up the phone.  
  
„A-are you okay? You’re okay, right? There’s no need for me to worry about you?“  
  
_„Bro, it’s… 4 am… oh my god. What the hell is wrong with you?“_

„I… I don’t know, Mabel, it’s my nightmares, I’m— I’m not okay…“ 

Mabel’s tone immediately changed.  
  
_„Ah… I’m sorry. Do you need to talk about it or something?“_  
  
„Dunno… For some reason I was… really worried about you just now,“ Dipper said quietly. He still didn’t want to wake Bill.  
  
_„About me? I’m okay, really, but you obviously aren’t.“  
_  
„I just woke up… The— the shadow— Mabel, I’ve been telling you about my nightmares, and the shadow— it’s— it’s m-me…“  
  
_„What?“_  
  
„The shadow chasing me is me. Just… me. I saw it today for the first time. It was me.“  
  
_„Wow— that’s— that’s really creepy,“ Mabel admitted._

„Y-yeah… I’m… I’m remembering things that aren’t possible, like— like seeing myself d-dead— how does that even make sense?“  
  
_„Dipper— that’s seriously so messed up, I don’t even know what to say.“_  
  
„Are there more of me?“  
  
_„What do you mean?“  
_  
„How can I remember seeing myself dead when it couldn’t have been me? It must have been some kind of… other me, then, right?“  
  
_„You were probably dreaming about that, Dipper…“_  
  
But he was sure that this hadn’t been a dream. This had happened. He didn’t know how, when, why, or anything else, but it was a fact to him that it had happened.  
  
„Sorry… Mabel, are you free tomorrow? I mean— I mean today, technically?“  
  
_„For what?“_  
  
„I have to find a place in the woods. We’ve been there when we were kids. A secret laboratory. I know Bill has to work tomorrow and I’ve been bothering him with this stuff way too much, and—“  
  
_„Will it help you calm down if I come along?“_  
  
Dipper didn’t say anything. He didn’t know if it would help him, but he didn’t want to do this alone. He was unstable. He knew that much at this point.  
  
Mabel sighed.  
_„Alright. I’ll call in sick in the morning. Pick me up when you’re ready.“_  
  
Dipper exhaled. He was so glad. Mabel was fine, and on top of that, they would look for that place together. He could always count on her after all. Mystery Twins. 

 

Bill had heard everything.  
And he quietly wished for a universe in which Stanford Pines didn’t exist.  


* * *

 

„Off to work!“ Bill said to Dipper, quickly kissing him goodbye.  
  
„Already?“  
Dipper was dead tired. He hadn’t been able to sleep at all after his call with Mabel, but he tried to hide that fact. Easy to hide - he was always tired.  
  
„Morning shift.“  
Lies.  
  
„Okay. Have a good day at work.“  
  
Bill left, but definitely not to work. He was weirdly calm. There wasn’t much he could do, right? And if Dipper ended up finding the truth, then there was nothing he could do about that either. Why did he even care? Why did he kind of want his suffering to end? How much truth was he putting into his words when he told Dipper that he loved him? 

The thoughts ghosted through his mind on his way to the deep forest of Gravity Falls. Dipper knew about the laboratory - Stanford had probably told him about it, and then Dipper had remembered. Oh, Stanford. You really don’t know when to quit.  
  
Soon enough he was there, pulling down the branch that served as a lever for the entrance. He went downstairs. And there was the other Dipper, sleeping peacefully on the bed. Bill sighed as he came closer, then pushed him a little to wake him up.  
  
Dipper immediately jolted awake and crawled back on the bed. His fear was adorable as always. He gulped, not saying anything.  
  
„Relax,“ Bill said, „We’re leaving.“ 

 


	7. Are these words that you gave me real?

„So, what exactly are we looking for?“   
  
Mabel yawned. She was tired - she, too, had not been able to sleep much after their call last night.   
  
„An underground laboratory in the woods. Why don’t you remember? We’ve been there when we were kids. We fought the shapeshifter, don’t you know?“   
  
„Uuuh… Shapeshifter… When was that again?“   
  
Dipper sighed. How was he supposed to know if his memories were real? Or if Mabel’s memories were the fake ones? 

„Nevermind. Let’s just find this place. It’s gotta be around… here somewhere, I think?“ Dipper said. They had been walking around in the forest for a while. He knew exactly what the place he was trying to find looked like, and this seemed pretty close. Sure, trees were trees and most of these places looked the same, but he knew this forest like his pocket. If the gnomes lived that way, and the stone circle to the unicorn entrance was over there, then the tree with the weirdly shaped branch should be here somewhere.   
  
„Look for a tree with a single weirdly shaped branch,“ he said.   
  
„You mean like this one?“ 

„What?“   
  
Mabel was pointing at it. Dipper’s eyes widened.   
  
„I— I think that’s the one! Try to pull it!“ he said while running over to Mabel, who was standing right next to it. Mabel shrugged and grabbed the branch, trying to pull and push it in different directions. Until it worked.   
  
„Woah!“   
  
Mabel jumped back when the entrance on the ground suddenly opened.   
  
„Okay, holy shit. You weren’t kidding,“ she said, big eyes staring at the mystery unfolding before her. „I feel like I’m twelve again.“ 

„This is it! That’s the place Stanford told me to find, it has to be!“   
  
„And uh… we’re supposed to go down there? You said there’s some kind of monster?“   
  
„No, we defeated it, it should be frozen down there.“   
  
Mabel gulped.   
„ _Should be?_ Are you sure that wasn’t just another dream?“ 

„Come on!“ Dipper urged and went ahead. Mabel groaned, asking herself why she was doing this, but coming along after all. 

It wasn’t like Dipper wasn’t scared as well. This was _very_ scary. But his curiosity won. If the shape shifter he remembered was still there, they would definitely defeat it somehow. Why didn’t Mabel remember it?   
  
„So what exactly is this place? You said we’ve been here before?“   
  
„It’s a secret laboratory. But like, really old… Like no one’s been in here for a very long time. When we were here for the first time we still didn’t know that Stanford was the author of the journals. We found some clues here.“  
  
„Uh, okay.“ Mabel didn’t seem too convinced.   
  
Dipper eyed her warily. He was worried about the fact that Mabel didn’t remember. Because how was he supposed to know which one of them was wrong? Could he trust his own memories? Maybe Mabel was right, and all of this never happened?   
  
They found the same room Dipper remembered. He knew that behind this room, there was a secret elevator leading even further into the basement. He ran across the room to check if it was really there, and it was.   
  
„I’m definitely right. Something is wrong with _your_ memory, Mabes.“   
  
„You don’t think…?“ She asked, big eyes.   
  
„Yeah. Maybe someone’s going around with a memory gun again, for whatever reason. Maybe they targeted both of us, and I’m just starting to remember things. I didn’t remember any of this until like, yesterday.“  
  
„That’s… scary. But I really can’t tell. I don’t remember this place… Huh…“ Mabel sighed, looking through the room. There was a single bed in a corner. It kind of looked like it had been used not long ago.   
  
„Umm… Dipper, you sure there’s no one down here?“  
  
„I don’t know… Hmm… just look around. I need clues. Something that will trigger more memories, maybe.“   
  
They split up in order to examine the room. Mabel found a fridge. It was unplugged, but the water inside implied that it hadn’t been like this for long, either.   
  
„Someone was definitely here,“ She said.   
  
„Yeah. I think so too… but… wait, what’s this?“   
  
Dipper had stepped on something. He picked it up, and went quiet.   
  
„What? Did you find something?“ Mabel asked from the other side of the room.   
  
„Y-yeah. But. It… it doesn’t make sense…“   
  
„Huh?“   
  
Dipper looked at Mabel, and what he held up was a polaroid picture of Bill and himself.   
„This… Bill always has it with him, I have my own too, why… why is this here?“ 

Mabel gulped.   
  
„Dipper, you do know that this means _Bill_ has been here, right? Didn’t he tell you anything?“ 

Dipper couldn’t process this information. Bill hadn’t said anything at all. Why would he have been here? To do what? Why…   
  
_Can I trust him?_

Fuck. he didn’t want to think like that, he loved Bill, Bill would tell him everything— he was sure—   
  
„Dipper, try to remember something!“   
  
„I don’t know what I’m supposed to remember! This doesn’t make sense! Bill has been with me for three years, why would he try to hide something like this from me— what was he even doing down here? How does he know about this place?“ 

Dipper needed to sit down. This was a bit too much for his brain right now.   
  
„I… I need to talk to Stanford. Let’s get out of here.“ 

 

* * *

 

  
„Kids?“   
Stanford had picked up the phone.  
  
It was Dipper’s voice.   
  
_„Great uncle Ford, we found the place. Someone has been there recently… Lots of things confirming that. But… I think…“_  
  
„So no one was there anymore… I thought so,“ Ford sighed. He was in utter despair. Not that he could show it to his brother.   
  
_„Yeah, but we found a clue… it seems like Bill was there.“_  
  
Stanford went silent.   
What was he supposed to do? Tell them everything?   
  
„Kids, do not trust Bill anymore,“ He finally said.   
  
_„Ford… he’s… he’s my boyfriend of three years!! I know you never really liked him, but—“_  
  
„He has kidnapped someone.“   
  
_„Kidnapped? Who? Why? Why do you know that?“_  
  
„I can’t tell you more than that. The life of the kidnapped person is in danger. I’ve been threatened by Bill to not tell you anything. So you have to act like I didn’t tell you, or… he’ll die. We might all get killed.“  
_  
„Ford— Ford, seriously, what is going on?!“  
_  
„I can’t tell you any more than this—“   
  
_„Who is ‚he‘?“_  
  
„Sorry… Please. Just trust me, and don’t tell Bill anything. Try to fool him. Find the person he’s kidnapped. I’ll help you!“   
  
Dipper couldn’t say a word for a whole while.   
_„How can you be so sure of all of this?“_ He finally asked.

„I just… Dipper, please,“ Stanford begged, „Please don’t trust Bill…“   
He stared at the content of the box which had appeared in his room earlier.   
Three bloody fingers.   
  
  


* * *

 

Bill groaned. It had been a lot of trouble to move Dipper to a new place without anyone noticing. Good thing he had been prepared for this situation. His old apartment would have to do. He hoped that he had erased all evidence of him having been in the forest laboratory. Of course Dipper would be smart enough to tell that someone had been there, but hopefully not who. Little did he know that he’d lost something very important when he’d left the place. 

The other Dipper had been crying for hours. Bill had been nice enough to patch up his hand with bandages after he’d cut the fingers off. Hey, he’d even been considerate enough to take Dipper’s left hand, not the right one. Now Dipper was tied up and lying on the floor.   
  
„P-please let me g-go…“ He whined. He had started to desperately beg for his freedom again, something he hadn’t done in a whole while. And it was going on Bill’s nerves.   
  
„Will you shut up already? I’m really not in the mood for this. Go on and you’ll regret it.“ 

Dipper just sobbed quietly.   
He’d screamed his lungs out when Bill had cut off his fingers, but no one seemed to have heard him. He didn’t know where he was. When Bill had moved him here - it seemed to be an empty apartment - he’d been unconscious. Bill had probably drugged him somehow.   
  
He knew that his fingers were meant to threaten Ford. Somehow, it was good news - it meant that Ford was looking for him, despite everything. It meant hope. There was still hope for him.   
_They will find me…_

„W-what is Ford supposed to do so you’ll let me go?“ Dipper dared to ask.   
  
Bill glared at him.   
„I told you to _shut the fuck up_. You want me to fuck you up that badly? Is _that_ it? Do you need me to shove my dick into your mouth so you won’t say another word?“  
  
„N-no— please, no—“  
  
Bill came closer and grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling him up. Dipper screamed.   
„I would kill Ford if I could. I would kill _all_ of you if I could, but here we fucking are.“   
  
„W-why? What have we done to you?!“ Dipper yelled.   
  
The blonde didn’t answer, instead he practically threw Dipper back to the floor. He’d torn out some of his hair. He was in a really bad mood. In the mood to kill, but he couldn’t. Maybe he should cut off some more of his body parts. 

„A deal’s a deal,“ he finally said.   
  


* * *

 

Dipper didn’t want to believe Stanford, but was faced with more and more evidence against Bill. The first one being the fact that Bill had not been at work at the times he had told Dipper. Very often, his shifts were completely different than what he’d told him, or he didn’t have to work at all. Dipper felt sick to the stomach.   
  
Bill? _His_ Bill, a kidnapper? A… murderer, even? 

He didn’t want to believe it. The thought made him tear up. He loved Bill. Or did he? Did he still love him after his trust had been taken advantage of like this?   
  
He went home.   
  
He didn’t know what to do at all. Bill wasn’t home, and he was glad. But what if he came back? Could Dipper really hide what he knew?   
  
_I have to_ , he reminded himself. If all Stanford had said was true, then he had to hide what he knew at all cost. Still, there was some part of him that wanted to believe that it was all a big lie. A coincidence. A misunderstanding. _Bill loves me…_  
  
He couldn’t have been faking these emotions for three years, right?   


He was terribly nervous. But he had to keep calm somehow. For now… He really couldn’t trust Bill.   
Dipper flinched when he heard the door.   
  
„I’m home!“ Bill yelled, and everything seemed as normal as ever.   
  
„Hi,“ Dipper simply said, staying in the kitchen. Act normal. Act normal…!   
  
Bill took off his shoes and stretched, yawning loudly.   
  
„How was work?“ Dipper asked, knowing very well now that Bill had not been there.   
  
„Was okay. As always. Not enough tips today tho,“ Bill lied straight to his face.   
  
Dipper couldn’t believe it. If Bill could lie like that… and that easily too, then…   
  
„I… umm… I don’t feel so well today, to be honest. I think I should sleep soon,“ Dipper said. It was the truth, he really wasn’t feeling well, but he also wanted to avoid having to talk too much to Bill right now.   
  
„What’s wrong? Nightmares again? Or actually sick?“   
  
„I— both. Both…“ Dipper just answered. He was having a hard time just looking at Bill.   
  
„Hey… you know you can talk to me about it, yeah? I’m here for you,“ Bill said, coming closer and leaving a quick kiss on his forehead. Dipper almost flinched away. Almost. Keep calm.   
  
„Y-yeah. I know. But I think I just need rest, that’s all.“   
  
  
Bill was alarmed. By now, Dipper should have told him about the fact that he’d been to the laboratory in the woods. Why wasn’t he telling him? Did Ford spill it all? Had he made a mistake? Had he lost Dipper’s trust?   
  
„Just don’t try do solve everything by yourself. You have your family, your friends, and you have me.“   
  
„Thank you, Bill,“ Dipper said, but he looked sad.  
  
Bill sighed and held Dipper’s chin up.   
„Why are you looking at me like that?“   
  
„Bill, do you love me?“   
  
„Do we have to go over that _again_?“   
  
„Do you really, really love me? In all honesty? Without it just being… a phrase? Please tell me.“   
  
For a moment, Bill was startled. He didn’t know how to answer this. Truthfully? Or not? And what was the truth?  
  
„We’ve been together for three years Pine Tree, why are you asking me this?“   
  
_Pine Tree_. Never before had this nickname sounded so wrong. But what exactly was so wrong about it, all of a sudden?   
  
„I— I don’t know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t doubt your feelings. Though… you didn’t answer…“   
  
Bill went silent. Then he simply kissed Dipper, and it was like always. Dipper almost forgot about the fact that Bill had been lying to him. That Bill might not be what he seems. Everything… was still there, the feelings, the… love?   
  
„It’s hard to answer,“ Bill said after breaking the kiss, „It’s a very serious question. Some people don’t figure it out their whole lives, whether it is ‚just a phrase‘ or more than that. So, if you really want an answer, I’ll have to ask you to give me some more time. Just a little. I’ll figure it out.“ 

 

He was being awfully honest. Not as a human. Not as what he was right now. But as Bill Cipher. As who he really was. 


End file.
